Shortly after I arrived home from the interview with Mrs. R. D, she phoned to say her impressions of her first birth had been largely mistaken. Her husband had been present after all, and things had been going very badly for her. I returned a few days later by myself to interview him. His story is interesting for the light he sheds on the birth story, for his memories of the death of a baby, and also because he was enjoying himself immensely as he told his part of the family’s story.

I use the second person when I’m speaking to both Mr and Mrs D. They knew who I was speaking to, of course, but it’s not always clear in the transcript. I’ll clarify where it gets dizzying.

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KAREN (to Mrs. D): You hadn’t remembered anything particularly out of the ordinary. Was it your grandmother that was here assisting you?

MRS D: Mm-hm.

KAREN: And you had said that Mr. D was in the kitchen…

MRS D: Yeah, I don’t know where he was. If he was in the room with me or what.

KAREN: And then, you phoned me up later and said “It was not quite as I remembered.”

MR D: Yeah, I don’t know what she remembered.

KAREN to Mr. D: Tell me what you remember. That’s why I’m here.

MR D: Oh, you know. Fifty-seven years ago.

MRS D: Fifty-five.

KAREN: (Laughs) Oh, don’t give her any more years than she needs to have!

MR D: Oh, it was fifty-seven since we were married.

KAREN: Okay.

MR D: And that’s a long time to…

MRS D to her husband: You told me something. I can’t remember what you told me.

KAREN to Mr D: What you said, but I don’t want to make you remember things that weren’t true. But you said that, in fact, Mrs D had been having trouble.

MR D: Yes.

KAREN to MRS D: You remembered a difficult birth. But you didn’t remember that you were in any trouble.

MRS D: I knew that when she was born, she had a deep groove across her forehead. And I wondered…

MR D: Yes, she…

MRS D: …if she was going to look that way forever.

MR D: She did have a problem. I can recall that too, but exactly what happened I don’t really know, but I know grandma asked for assistance.

KAREN: Right.

MR D: And you know… a young kid.

KAREN: How old would you have been then?

MR D: Well, about twenty-four…. And being miles away from a doctor and we didn’t have a car, so it was a serious problem, but, well, I did what grandma said to do.

MRS D: Well what?

KAREN: Do you remember what she said?

MR D: Well, at first she wanted me to steady R___ and have her try to push harder. Then she changed, because the head came out. Well, not all, and she (he means grandma) was doing the pushing and she said, “You just hold the head steady.” So that’s what I did.

KAREN: You held the baby’s head steady?

MR D: Yes. And then all of a sudden, there was the baby.

KAREN: Was grandma doing any of the pushing?

MR D: Yes, grandma was doing… I can’t recall exactly how she did it or what, but she was pushing.

KAREN: She was pushing on the tummy, you’re indicating.

MR D: Yes. So there again, the minor details, I can’t say…

KAREN: That’s okay. I want to know the feeling in the room as this was happening. Do you remember being afraid, do you remember grandma being anxious?

MR D: Well…

MRS D: I think she was.

MR D: Well, in a way she was anxious, but her, well, you could tell she was getting a little bit nervous because the baby wasn’t coming and wasn’t coming. But I didn’t know, so…

KAREN: Did she communicate to you, that she was worried?

MR D: No. No, she didn’t say that. But you could tell because the actions. But to me, well, I didn’t know the problem, what could happen or would happen, so I just did what I was told to help her and all of a sudden it was over.

KAREN: All of a sudden, everything was okay.

MR D: Yes, everything was okay, so she knew what to do.

MRS D: I think she was worried when the baby was stuck.

MR D: Well, yes. The head was out and the shoulders didn’t want to come. And so there during that period, but once the shoulders were coming then she was all right.

KAREN: Okay. Now I can’t remember if I asked you this, I’m sure we must have, how long had you been in labour? Do you remember?

MRS D: I think she was born Sunday morning, wasn’t she?

MR D: Yeah.

MRS D: And well, since, from Saturday morning.

KAREN: That’s right… It was cold, wasn’t it?

MR D: Yes.

MRS D: There wasn’t much snow though.

MR D: That’s right. That year there was very little snow. But still we were driving a horse and buggy. My folks, they had a car, but we didn’t have a telephone.

MRS D: It was three miles to a phone.

MR D: Yes. Because the operators weren’t working. There was a telephone half a mile but then you had to go through the operator to call my parents and to bring the car or whatever if we needed it.

KAREN: It wasn’t a simple thing, was it?