MRS M.: Very normal.

KAREN: Do you recall how long you were in labour, that kind of thing?

MRS M.: Not too long. Not too long for the second one. And I had the same midwife and the same doctor.

KAREN: And this was all at home?

MRS M.: All at home, yes.

KAREN: Can you tell me what kind of preparations you would have gone through? Maybe for preparing the bedroom, or preparing for the baby’s arrival, you know, the layette, that kind of thing.

MRS M.: Not too much, it was just the midwife was there, and she was prepared.

KAREN: Did they put any extra sort of padding down on the bed, or anything like that?

MRS M.: I don’t think so.

KAREN: When your daughter was born, there was the midwife present and the doctor present, was your husband present this time?

MRS M.: No, he was away at that time too.

KAREN: How many children did you have all together?

MRS M.: Counting the stillborn, I had seven.

KAREN: Wow, were they all born at home?

MRS M.: No, just the first three.

KAREN: And then after that you went to hospital?

MRS M.: There was a hospital.

KAREN: What was it like? What was the experience like, compared to being at home, for instance?

MRS M.: Oh, it was much more relaxing in the hospital.

KAREN: Was it really?

MRS M.: Oh yes!

KAREN: Oh, how come?

MRS M.: Well, oh, the nurses were there, and the doctor was available. Now when my third child was born, it was the 20th of December, a real blizzardy day, and the doctor did calls out to the country; at that time they made country calls. And he said he worried about me all the time he was away out in the country, and he got in at two o’clock in the morning, and I called. We were calling him at six.

KAREN: Oh my goodness! Well he didn’t get much sleep that night! (Laughs.)

MRS M.: (Laughs.) No.

KAREN: Was your husband present for any of the births?

MRS M.: He was home when D. was born, my third one.

KAREN: Did he attend the birth? Or did he wait in the kitchen?

MRS M.: No, he was looking after my daughter.

KAREN: And how old would she have been then?

MRS M.: She was two. She was a little over two years old.

KAREN: I’m surprised to hear you say it was more relaxing in the hospital. One of the complaints that women have nowadays about hospital births, is that they’re fussed with too much. When you were having your babies in the hospital, and having your babies at home, did you get a feeling that, you know, that the doctors were letting nature take its course, or was there a feeling that the birth was being managed in some way?

It’s important to note that hospital birth procedures have probably changed significantly since 1997. Complaints such as these may be much less common. I had my last baby in 1993.

MRS M.: I felt it was more managed.

KAREN: Oh, did you? In the hospital?

MRS M.: Uh hm.

KAREN: Did they use instruments or drugs, or anything?

MRS M.: Yes, when the next one was born, R., when R. was born, I was about three weeks overdue, so the doctor phoned me, and he said, “How would you like to have that baby?” I said, “I would love to have this baby!” (Laughs.) So I went into the hospital about 11 o’clock, and he gave me a shot. And they brought me in my dinner about 1 o’clock and I said, “Take it away, I’m much too busy!”

KAREN: Oh, really! (Laughs.)

MRS M.: I was in labour. And he was born shortly after noon.

KAREN: Really? That quickly?

MRS M.: Very quickly.

KAREN: Did you find that hard on you? Was that a hard labour?

MRS M.: Well, not really. I was so glad to have that. He was a ten and a half pound baby boy.

KAREN: Wow! How big were your others?

MRS M.: The others were around nine pounds.

KAREN: Oh so they were all pretty big.

MRS M.: Yeah, they were all nine.

KAREN: Let me back up a little bit to the early days when you were very first expecting. I’m not going to focus on the loss of the baby, I want to focus on how well educated you were about the process, what your body was going to go through; how well educated you had been about babies in general. Had you been able to discuss having babies, or labour and delivery, with your mom, for instance?

MRS M.:(Shakes her head.)

KAREN: No? You shake your head.

MRS M.: It was a complete new experience.

KAREN: Was it? Did you have sisters, aunts, you know, close in age?

MRS M.: No, None in town, no.

KAREN: Okay, but do you have sisters?

MRS M.:Oh, I had sisters, they were in all in the States.

KAREN: Were you the youngest sister? Of your brothers and sisters? Where are you, were you one of the oldest, or were you one of the youngest?

MRS M.: The youngest. C. was my family.

KAREN: Okay. So you hadn’t discussed…? No?

MRS M.: No.

KAREN: Did you not discuss because it wasn’t convenient, or because it just wasn’t done? Was it not polite?

MRS M.: You didn’t discuss your pregnancy with anybody.

KAREN: We’re finding that. And even we’re finding that people covered up, you know, that sometimes they wore their regular clothes, and just hid. And they didn’t go out in public.

MRS M.: Yes. I didn’t want to be seen when I was pregnant.

KAREN: Is that right?

MRS M.: You know, I was so glad that, well like my first one was born in October, and I was so glad that fall came. If I went out I could wear a coat. So I didn’t look pregnant.

KAREN: Well, what did you do? If you’re a homemaker, you’re in charge of shopping, I assume, and cleaning, and maybe tending a garden. How would… And you live in town. How would you go about your daily life not looking pregnant? (Laughs.) How did you do your shopping, that kind of thing?

MRS M.: Telephone.

KAREN: Oh, by telephone? (Amazed.)

MRS M.: You could phone for your groceries and they delivered them.

KAREN: My goodness, I never thought of that. Well!

I wonder how amazed my 1997 self would have been if she’d known how much shopping she’d be doing on the internet barely a decade later?

MRS M.: Yes, all the stores had delivery boys.

Plus ça change…. As I write this in May 2020 during the Covid-19 pandemic we are once again trying to shop for our groceries and other supplies without leaving the house. Except that it’s no longer routine.

KAREN: Well. So if you have walked down the street, with a big round tummy, would people have been shocked?

MRS M.: I wouldn’t do it.

KAREN: You wouldn’t do it. Do you find it shocking now?

MRS M.: I do.

KAREN: You do?

MRS M.: I do, yeah.

Contrast with Mrs. N. B’s views.